It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
