So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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