She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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