Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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