Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
BRING THE BAGELS
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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