I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
