these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
