she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i dont even know how to be here
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
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Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
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I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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