i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
