i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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