Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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