your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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