Christians are straight up FREAKS
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
