no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I want her autograph on my taint
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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