VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
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They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
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It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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