So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
