I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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