After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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