she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
