I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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