Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
