These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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