you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
