I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
