If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
