she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
