Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My life is pants optional.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
