i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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