5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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