Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
