I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
