At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
