Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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