Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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