How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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