she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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