I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize