He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
