ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
