We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
