hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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