i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
