Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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