i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
