wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
