he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
