Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the day after is always just damage control
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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