so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
