Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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