I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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