You can't special order awesome
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
