just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
