So drunk its hurt
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
