Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just want to make out with him forever
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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