I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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