ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
