I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
