hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
