I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
