You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
