Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
